Day 7?

Today I am thankful for Tramadol.

Moreoever, however, I am thankful that God forgives me my constant errors and that my children forgive me as well.

Day Six

I am thankful that Adam is willing to let me disappear into a dark room with an ice pack, lock the doors, and hide when I have these terrible migraines.

Day Five (better late than never)

I'm grateful for our doctor and the nurses at Saint Mary's Mercy Medical Hospital whose quick and competent actions six years ago allowed our sweet little girl Avery to celebrate her 6th birthday on Saturday.

Quote of the day

To my four-year old:

"Honey, you aren't meant to be shut in a dog crate."

(She's still throwing a fit because I won't shut her in the dog crate. Can't wait to bring this up at high school graduation.)

From the 10/16/08 Girlfriends in God devotional

When I Am Afraid
Mary Southerland

Today's Truth
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind" 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV).

Friend to Friend
We do a lot of laundry at the Southerland house. There always seems to be a load in the washer that needs to go in the dryer, a load in the dryer that needs to be folded and a load of dirty laundry waiting to begin the process all over again. Sound familiar?

Our washer and dryer have numerous settings for everything from hand washables and fine delicates to cotton and permanent press. In an effort to raise responsible young adults, our children began doing their own laundry at a young age. However, there was a price to be paid for that lesson. After a few loads that yielded pink male underwear and sweaters shrunk to fit Barbie dolls, we decided to wash everything on one setting. Heaven help the man, woman or child who dares to change that setting.

When a life crisis comes, we generally have an automatic setting of fear and anxiety. The good news is that we can change that setting to peace and joy! How? By counting on God.

Count on God to be with you. We battle stress every day, but God is faithful and we can count on Him to be with us every step of the way. Worry is trying to fix tomorrow's problems with today's resources. My husband and I are flying to Charlotte, North Carolina. Dan booked the tickets and reserved seats for both of us. We have packed our suitcases and made every preparation we can think of. However, we really don't need any of those things...until we get on the plane. Grace is much the same. God gives grace in daily doses -- just when we need them.

Isaiah 43:2 When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you (NLT).

Count on God for direction. Life can easily spin out of control in a whirlwind of confusion. God offers direction and guidance through His word, through His people and through the Holy Spirit.

Psalm 32:8 I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you (NLT).

Count on God for provision. God goes before us in every area of life. Nothing that happens to us will ever surprise God. We must be careful to stay away from the scenario sickness of "What if". There are no "what ifs" when we choose to trust God for every need.

Isaiah 65:24 I will provide their needs before they ask. I will help them while they are still asking for help (NLT).

Count on God for protection. God will fight for us when we are attacked. When we follow God's agenda, God fights for us. When we follow our agenda, we are on our own.

Exodus 14:13 The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still" (NIV).

I recently saw a bumper sticker that read, "If God is your Co-Pilot, switch seats!" Many of us have good reason to be afraid because we are sitting in the pilot seat of life, determined to be in control. Fear feeds stress. Stress thrives in an atmosphere of fear and doubt when our hand is on the steering wheel of life. We need to move over, surrender control to God and find the peace waiting in His hand.

Let's Pray
Father, my heart is filled with fear. It seems like I am drowning in the uncertainties of my life. Lord, help me to surrender my fears to You. Strengthen me to face each one and walk through it, knowing that You are with me. I choose to trust You and doubt my fears. I choose against stress and choose for peace. I choose You, Lord.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.

Day Four

I'm grateful for my longing for God.

Day Three

So far, I am thankful that God got me out of bed to meet with Him early this morning. I"ll probably cheat and have more items for which I am thankful later today :-)

Day Two

(a little late)

I am thankful that I got to spend the morning with my baby sweetpea on her preschool field trip to the pumpkin farm. What a wonderful morning of viewing her with complete joy!

30 Days of Thankfulness (Day one)

As I was driving to the Southport Great Banquet #48 that Mom and I attended together last weekend, God prompted me to think about all of the things for which I am grateful. It's so easy to get caught up in the swirl of everyday life, the aches and pains that plague us, the betrayals that befall us, the frighteningly steep downturn of the economy. In getting caught up in those things, I forget to appreciate all with which I've been blessed. I remember to mention them when I pray, but I often forget to call them to mind during the hurry of daily life.

So God prompted me to start a daily record of thankfulness. My goal is to blog daily, each day recording one thing for which I am grateful. We'll see if I can keep it up. I have good intentions, but much like thankfulness, blogging often gets lost in the chaos that my family calls daily life.

So....

Day one: (I'll cheat and have two today)...I'm extremely grateful that I was able to swim laps for an hour today (the last 40 minutes consisted of repeated mental chanting of Philippians 4:13 )

I am also thankful that my children are obsessed with homophones right now and make me laugh when they stretch the English language to find homophones everywhere. :-)

The Impala Syndrome

The Impala Syndrome
This devotional was written by Jim Liebelt

HomeWord Devotional, 10/10/08

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.—Hebrews 11:1

I recently read a story on the Internet about the deer-like African Impala that reportedly can jump to an amazing height of 10 feet in the air, yet can be restrained in captivity by a wall that is merely three feet tall. Why? It seems that the Impala simply will not jump without being able to see where it will land.

This reminds me of the faith life of many Christ-followers. We have been given the wonderful gift of faith. By simple acts of faith, both small and great, God chooses to expand His influence in the world (See Hebrews 11). Still, it seems that many Christians live like Impalas when it comes to exercising faith. I know that for myself, time and time again, I’ve let any number of small walls; those made of fear, or worry or even ‘common sense’ restrain me from exercising the gift of faith that God has given. How about you?

When we insist upon living by sight and always determining the results before we act, we short-circuit faith, cutting God and His power out of the equation in our lives. When living by sight overcomes faith, our spiritual lives begin to shrivel, we live at a lesser level of satisfaction, and our own participation in influencing the world for God decreases. According to the Scriptures, faith is a foundational principle for living the Christian life. (See Romans 1:17.)

The solution to the “Impala Syndrome” of faith is found in choosing to trust. When we choose to trust God enough to walk by faith rather than by sight, we exercise our faith and as a result, its capacity grows. Our spiritual lives are strengthened, which results in our living life to its fullest.

So, how are you doing when it comes to matters of faith? Are you consistently living by faith? Or, is your daily experience more like the “Impala Syndrome”? Today, you can make the choice to trust God and live by faith not by sight. Let our prayer today be, “Increase our faith, Lord!”

Pain

I was going to write a post based upon the devotional below, talking about the path I've traveled on the way to forgiving my former friend for her betrayal. It's true what she writes about the vision of the "other woman." Do any of us wives view the "other woman" as someone railroaded by a bad decision made multiple times? I certainly haven't. One minute she was one of my closest friends, the next she was words that I wouldn't utter in polite (or even necessarily unpolite) company.

But pain has obscured my thoughts on the matter. The fibromyalgia has reared its incredibly ugly, despised head over the past 5 days. It's times like these, when I am just overwhelmed with unrelenting pain and fatigue, that I wonder if there is any end in sight. When every bone in my body cries out for relief and rest, but when I awake from a nap or night's sleep in the same exhausted and painful state, I do start to wonder...is this it? Will I feel like this forever?

Part of that is because I've been loyal to the restrictive vegan, allergen-and caffeine-free diet I've been following. I've been exercising a minimum of 45 minutes a day, even through the pain and exhaustion. And I still feel like this. That is the truly disheartening part of this. I'm doing everything I've been doing for over 4 months and I feel rotten.

But then I realized that maybe I just really need to pay attention to the article about fog that I posted below. This is my fog right now. I've no doubt that depression is lurking around the corner, waiting to welcome me into its clammy grasp if I just give in. So I need to think about truly clinging to God's promises right now, not just thinking they are awfully nifty when I'm feeling well. I need to cling like I am drowning and not give into the thought that I'm facing this on my own and this may be all I ever am.

• Isaiah 43:1-2 (thank you Celeste!)
  
• 1.
• But now, this is what the LORD says-- he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

• 2.
• When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

Forgiving the Other Woman

From the Crosswalk Women's Newsletter I receive, October 1 2008

Forgiving the 'Other Woman'

Rebeca Seitz

 

I was 22 years old, married for just over a year, when my mom said the words that opened my eyes. "That dog won't hunt." It's a phrase my southern mom has used for years when the story being told doesn't add up to truth in her powerfully discerning mind. Mom's never been wrong when she utters that sentence. When I described to her the goings on in my marriage and she came back with those words, I knew she'd just declared what I hadn't wanted to face. My husband was cheating.

I never considered that betrayal would enter my marriage. I suppose that was a bit naïve given the prevalence of betrayal in the marriages around me -- my dad's first marriage, two aunts, some cousins, several friends. Throughout my childhood, marriages around me kept falling apart due to adultery. Yet it simply didn't occur to me to be on guard.

My world shattered that day. Everything I thought I knew to be true suddenly came into question. Who was I? Who was this God that would allow my life to get so off course? Who was this man whose last name I shared? Where was the future I'd so meticulously planned since my girlhood days? How would they respond at the megachurch for which I worked? What sentence could I say to my husband to put everything back the way it had been -- if only in my mind? Could I forgive him? Stay married? I knew the Bible allowed for divorce in the case of adultery, but it doesn't demand such. That left me with choices to make instead of a dictated path.

My dad is a marriage counselor -- how's that for irony? I spent hours on the phone with him, wrestling over what course of action to take. Just as suddenly as I'd decided to forgive and stay, though, my husband decided the future. In a phone call from his mom's, he explained that he simply wasn't "created for marriage" and had "made a big mistake." He moved out on December 1 - my birthday.

For the next few weeks, I lived in a haze of disbelief. Questions and thoughts swirled through my mind like a southern twister in a thunderstorm. One kept coming to the forefront. How could one woman do this to another? I couldn't wrap my mind around someone purposefully causing this much pain and confusion in another's life. Weren't we women supposed to stick together and help each other out?

Throughout my life, as others were hit by betrayal, I'd had an image of the "other woman" as manipulative, scheming, cheap, tawdry, and desperate. The entire Hollywood cliché formed my image of her. But I couldn't reconcile that image with a woman my husband would be attracted to. And if that image was wrong, then what belonged in its place?

I read a lot, cried bucketloads, threw up my hands, journaled my heart out, and prayed even more and eventually picked up When Godly People do Ungodly Things by Beth Moore. Beth shared scripture which revealed that satan plots against each individual Christian. He's fine if the ultimate demise he's after takes years to accomplish. What else does he have to do but wait for his own defeat? And so he plots -- he plans, step by step, how to pull a believer down into the muck and mire.

Can't you just envision him now? Rubbing his hands with glee or chewing on the end of a pencil as he studies you and determines exactly which buttons to push to steer you down his path?

I've got a lot of buttons and -- entirely too often through the years -- I've allowed satan to have control over me. I've let him lead me right into the story he wrote. I've hurt people in the process -- parents, family members, and friends.

It dawned on me, sitting there with Beth's book in my hands and an image of a scheming satan in my mind, that I wasn't very different from the "other woman". I don't think she -- or anyone who commits adultery -- wakes up one morning and says, "I think today I'll commit adultery." I highly doubt that's what my husband did. No, I think it's a gradual process of steps laid out expertly by a grand manipulator. Our fault lies in taking those steps, in ceding authority of our story to one intent on our demise.

When I saw her in that light, I could empathize with the "other woman". I could forgive. I could understand. She gave up control of her story just like I've done so many times in too many ways. Her decision wreaked havoc in my life, but I've done the same in others' lives in other ways. If I couldn't forgive her this, how could I expect forgiveness myself?

It would have been easy to judge this woman, to judge my husband, to spend the rest of my life comfortable on my high horse and safe in my solitude. I tried that for a while. But, in reality, my horse rides lower than a lot of folks and keeps going only by the grace of God. He's a God who is clear about how forgiveness works -- asking for it without giving it doesn't work.

He's also clear about His ability to make beauty where sorrow stood. In forgiving, I became able to love again. To trust in His story for me again. To take steps toward healing and acceptance. Today, nearly six years later, I'm a (usually) happily married woman with a three-year-old son and a daughter to be born in October.

When I sat down to write my novel Coming Unglued, I knew that Kendra (my main character) was ripe for an emotional affair. She'd taken enough steps in satan's story of her life to be at that monumental moment. I checked with my husband before embarking on this novel's writing because I knew the emotions would affect our marriage. He prayed me through, handing me Kleenex as I cried while I typed and patting my back as I shook my head at Kendra and at the remembrance of my first marriage.

I get asked a lot how I could write a story from the "other woman's" point of view, given my history. I smile, knowing that I'm just as fallen as any "other" woman. On days when I yell at my son or take my husband's love for granted or fail in any number of ways, I'm grateful for a God who forgives and who surrounds me with people who forgive. In the face of such a gift, how can I not offer forgiveness in return