Pain

I was going to write a post based upon the devotional below, talking about the path I've traveled on the way to forgiving my former friend for her betrayal. It's true what she writes about the vision of the "other woman." Do any of us wives view the "other woman" as someone railroaded by a bad decision made multiple times? I certainly haven't. One minute she was one of my closest friends, the next she was words that I wouldn't utter in polite (or even necessarily unpolite) company.

But pain has obscured my thoughts on the matter. The fibromyalgia has reared its incredibly ugly, despised head over the past 5 days. It's times like these, when I am just overwhelmed with unrelenting pain and fatigue, that I wonder if there is any end in sight. When every bone in my body cries out for relief and rest, but when I awake from a nap or night's sleep in the same exhausted and painful state, I do start to wonder...is this it? Will I feel like this forever?

Part of that is because I've been loyal to the restrictive vegan, allergen-and caffeine-free diet I've been following. I've been exercising a minimum of 45 minutes a day, even through the pain and exhaustion. And I still feel like this. That is the truly disheartening part of this. I'm doing everything I've been doing for over 4 months and I feel rotten.

But then I realized that maybe I just really need to pay attention to the article about fog that I posted below. This is my fog right now. I've no doubt that depression is lurking around the corner, waiting to welcome me into its clammy grasp if I just give in. So I need to think about truly clinging to God's promises right now, not just thinking they are awfully nifty when I'm feeling well. I need to cling like I am drowning and not give into the thought that I'm facing this on my own and this may be all I ever am.

• Isaiah 43:1-2 (thank you Celeste!)
  
• 1.
• But now, this is what the LORD says-- he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

• 2.
• When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.