Costumes

Today is Halloween. It's been a hard day for me so far. Nothing attached to the holiday...just a hard day. No patience, no energy, no joy...just nothingness. Not necessarily related to the events of the summer. I'm just tired. My body is tired, my mind is tired, my spirit is tired.

Part of it may be a drain in anticipating the future. I believe we are moving. We've found a house, and I think that God is pointing us that way. I'm not sure. The move is, in very large part, a response to what happened in our marriage. A fresh start. An escape. A new beginning.

But a move takes so much. So much energy. So much time. So much money. Things that I'm just not sure we have right now. I do know that I don't have the energy to do the things around here that need to be done. Decluttering. Selling. Cleaning. Decorating. I can barely make myself do laundry...what makes anyone think I could actually declutter a house?

All I can do, I suppose, is just keep praying that God will direct us, that He will make his answer clear to us.

As for tonight, the theme of Halloween is disguising yourself. Making everyone think you are something or someone else. We will have an Anakin Skywalker, a giraffe, and a Care Bear. As for me, I'll try to disguise myself as someone with energy and joy. And I'll keep praying that God sees fit to clothe me in real joy, strong faith, and energy to live.

Happy Halloween